OLIVER: Do you think I'm just going to let you walk out of here? You may not have killed Sara, but you're still a murderer!
MALCOLM: What are you going to do, arrest me? I can escape from any prison. So your only real choices are to let me go or kill me. And I hear you're not a killer anymore.
OLIVER: Shucks, when you put it that way, I guess I'm stymied. Run along, then.
You know, Oliver, you could TRY putting him in jail and see what happens.
In the final push up to the midterm elections, the GOP will be using a new piece of music in their TV spots and at their campaign rallies. If you'd like to hear it, I have it here.
(By the way, even if this plaintive anthem doesn't persuade you to vote Republican, I hope you will still vote.)
But the club was having a just-for-fun kind of tournament for members only, and because I wanted to support the salle with the entry fee, and because I had my arm twisted a little bit, I decided what the hell, I'll go in.
As I was driving my sixty-four year-old self there this morning, I wasn't expecting to do all that well. I knew one of my fellow competitors was a fencer in his early forties and that all the rest were teenagers.
Now, an optimist would have said that having years of experience on all these people should give me some sort of edge. But the fact of the matter is, the younthful fencers have the energy and reflexes of the young. If many cases, they train seriously and take private lessons as I have not for many years. Plus, I just wasn't feeling particular warlike. So I wasn't crazy about my chances.
Anyway, I stopped at Wendy's to get a litltle something to eat before proceeding to the salle. As I placed my order, the teenage young lady at the register asked me, "Do you want the senior drink?"
"I don't know," I replied. "How old do you have to be to qualify for that?"
"I'm not sure," she said, "but it's for the elderly."
THE ELDERLY! Which, based on my appearance, she was certain that I was! How demoralizing is that?
Anyhow, I ate my BBQ pork sandwich, went on to the salle, and over the course of the afternoon, and much to my surprise, managed to take first place.
So thank you, fencing, for making me feel that no matter how geriatric and decrepit I may look to fast-food employees, the grave isn't yawning at my feet quite yet.
I believe I understand why this happens, I don't think any one person can fairly be blamed, and I don't know how to make it better. But I commiserate with anyone who had his or her heart set on being in one of the Big Five and got shut out, and I think it would be a great thing if this situation could be improved somehow.
Anyway, I just want to mention that a friend and I have stayed in one of the overflow hotels for the past two years, we saved money by doing it, and I didn't think it was hugely inconvenient or that we missed out on much. So if you love Dragon Con or are curious to check it out, I wouldn't let the unavailability of the Big Five keep you away.
And as I pointed out to Will Ludwigsen, who was sitting beside me at the time, what an awesome blurb for a novel that would be! Just as I hope and pray that someday Gilbert Gottfried will do the Audiobook version of one of my novels, so too do I now hope to see the cover of one of them proclaiming, "He's even worse in person!"
You can check it out here: